Tear It Down! - 5 Disney Attractions that Need to Go

I'm just as sick of all the construction at the Walt Disney World resort as the next person. But if this trend is going to continue I'd like to suggest a few attractions that need to leave the parks for good. These are attractions that have outstayed their welcome or are just plain bad. I did not just focus on the negative, however. Here are also 5 replacement for these rides, and I believe the parks will be better if this appeal gets answered. 

Tomorrowland Speedway
Why it needs to go:  Loud, gas guzzling, smelly vehicles have no place in the land of tomorrow. Being stuck on a fixed track, unable to maneuver around the 8 year old ahead of you who decided that the middle of the track was a good time to forget how the gas pedal works, is not not fun. The scenery of the course itself is not even pleasant to look at, like its Disneyland counterpart, Autopia.

What should replace it:  The real estate that the Speedway takes up is massive. The only problem facing any new attraction replacing is its proximity to the railroad. With that not being a factor, I could see Shanghai's Tron coaster making its way stateside. 

Impressions de France
Why it needs to go:  I've heard many positive reviews of this 200 degree widescreen film in the France pavilion but I just don't get it. It feels like one of those pseudo-educational films they play for you in school. Disney is known for making education fun but this is not one of those experiences.  The wrap around screen did nothing to inject any excitement. I know the film is supposed to be educational but other offerings in Epcot and elsewhere do so more effectively.

What should replace it:  World Showcase needs real attractions. There are purists who believe otherwise. I think there are ways of preserving the beauty of the pavilions and still include an attraction or two. The choice is obvious here: Ratatouille. Disneyland Paris' newest attraction is a hit and it's not hard to see why. Trackless ride vehicles, incredible screen effects and immersive practical environments are exactly the things I know I want in the world showcase. 

Journey into Imagination 
Why it needs to go:  This blasphemous update to a classic attraction has been allowed to exist far too long. After budget setbacks required the scope of the reimagining to be smaller, imagineers opted to rip the soul out of the ride. Figment quickly was shoehorned back into the attraction but it wasn't the same without the Dreamfinder. And turned Figment into an annoying pest rather than a lovable sidekick.

What should replace it:  Bring back the Dreamfinder. As amazing as being able to ride the classic attraction would be, something entirely new is needed. Perhaps based on the Figment comic series. 'The New Adventures of the Dreamfinder and Figment' sounds about right.

Why it needs to go: I am one of those crazy people that actually enjoys Dinosaur. However I understand all the criticisms called against it. It's way too dark and terrifying for kids. I've never felt that this attraction, or all of Dinoland USA for that matter, really belongs in Animal Kingdom at all.

What should replace it:  I have suggested a perfect replacement for this entire area before and I will continue beating that dead horse. Indiana Jones should completely take over Dinoland USA and the Dinosaur attraction. It's just a no-brainer. The track layouts to Disneyland's Temple of the Forbidden Eye and Dinosaur are identical. Swapping out the theming will make a world of difference.

Stitch's Great Escape
Why it needs to go: Oh, Stitch. Everyone's favorite mischievous alien. Stitch was dealt a bad hand when he had to fill the ExtraTERRORestrial show building. A theater of this kind only works for a select few experiences and Stitch is not one of them. Another attraction too dark and too scary for kids and uncomfortable for adults.

What should replace it: The entire "theater-in-the-round" idea needs to go and an entirely different concept has to fill that space. I'd love to see Tomorrowland get back to its roots in looking toward our future. I doubt we'll ever see that realized though after the Tomorrowland film disappointed at the box office. Even if Stitch does stay around the entire experience needs a reimagining.